I wanted to share this piece that was emailed to me today. I am on an email list from the website - FearlessStories.com . sometimes I read them and sometimes the emails get deleted. I want to live fearlessly. I am glad I read today's story - What to do when the cake stares you in the face. ...here is the story...
Last week I went to see a friend who'd recently lost some weight. The person I was
with saw our friend's smoking new body and said, "Wow! How'd you do it - it neverworks for me." I pinched her and thought, "Oof. It's not about you." But then I thought"Why hasn't it worked for you?"
I'm guilty of the same stinking thinking: No matter how hard I tried, for almost tenyears of my life, eating healthy just didn't seem manageable for me. I'd drive
myself demented trying to be consistent, but it still came and went just as a phase.
I'd work out, but didn't get the results I really wanted. "What gives?!" I thought. "I'm
doing everything but nothing seems to be working." And this thought process
would have continued had it not been for, ironically, a piece of cake.
Last year I was at the office when one day someone brought in the ultimate chocolate
cake - fudgy, gooey, firm. I was over the moon. I love sweets and this was the jackpot,
but dessert was also my biggest nemesis. So as it often happened, when this cake from God's Bakery arrived, I was in my "only eating healthy" phase.
What's a gal to do?
A little indignant, I ate not only one but two pieces. I didn't want to deny my body
what it naturally craved, right? Meanwhile, a colleague typed away but looked at me
and smiled. I barely registered. Was she enjoying it too? Did she have a slice?
Whatever, I didn't care. I had cake.
I went home after work and caught up on my blogs, one written by the same friend I
worked with. As I read the day's post, the details of a particular scene she described
sounded all too familiar - cake, colleagues, healthy eating efforts. My eyes scanned
wildly and I saw that she had relayed my cake escapade to extrapolate a universal lesson on decision making from it! She used the blunder to show the consequences
of poor decision making; that if you caved when it really mattered, could you ever
really expect to change? She illustrated how a crazy person did the same thing over
and over again but expected different results, and supported it with my cake eating!
I was mortified. To see my actions in the light of day, not to mention on her blog, was
embarrassing! Plus didn't she realize that I also read her blog?
I kept reading. She said how important it was to redefine our behaviors during the
moments that felt okay to cheat or give up on, but which really mattered if we wanted
to see results; That despite our hard work, our efforts didn't matter if in a moment where cake stared us in the face, cake won. She knew how badly I wanted to remain
healthy, not just have a health "phase," so she emphasized that results meant
changing habitual patterns in the right moments, moments that really challenged us,
like in the office that day. As I kept reading, I still felt disbelief, but started to see why
she had written the post, the lesson that was actually behind it.
I realized that all the Tim Ferriss exercises in the world wouldn't matter if every chance
I got, I chose that piece of chocolate cake. Would anything pay off if the one thing I
consistently did was let bad habits get in my way of progress? Would I fall into the same
trap that had me stuck for years? It was effective to see my behavior reflected through the lens of an honest friend. Right there and then my guilt turned into awareness and
I saw her point. I saw how I deluded myself to think "it never worked for me" when in
fact, it did. It 100% worked. I just stopped myself from seeing it. My body responded
wonderfully well when I ate healthy, danced, remained active, and controlled my stress.
My challenge was to recognize that the pivotal moments, the space I thought didn't matter, was where I actually got the results I wanted. It was that moment that changed
everything.
I've stopped saying "It doesn't work for me" now. Instead, if I want to indulge, I indulge.
The big difference is that I know the pumpkin pie contributes to the bottom line just as
much as the spinach does, and I don't delude myself into thinking it doesn't. That
nuance makes all the difference. The universal lesson I take from this is that sometimes,
you just can't have your cake and eat it too.
I think this idea is so important when it comes to health and deeper things in life. My coworker Lili and I had this same conversation the other day about a decision I was trying to make. She was telling me how she read recently in a book that whatever you are, whatever your integrity is, is easier to do and be 100% of the time, then it is to be it 98% of the time. It's the same as this article how it is the 2% of the time, it is those pivotal moments about who you are and what choices you are going to make (albeit about a piece of cake at the office party or an answer to a work challenge, personal situation or whatever)
I do think you have to be living intentionally though to care about these pivotal moments. Else, I suppose they still happen, but you don't notice that you are holding them and that your choices can make huge waves in yours or others personal lives.
I also happened to come across this article today, the day before we are having cake at the office tomorrow for Eeyore's (previously known as Aspberger's) birthday. We ordered his favorite - Red Velvet Cake from Billy's Bakery in Chelsea.
pic from the site...
yes, it is incredibly delicious. I have a choice tomorrow of having no pieces, half a piece, one piece, 2 or 3! Yes, there would actually be the option to have 3 pieces because most of the men in our office eat like little girls that are looking forward to bikini season. It is such an odd thing, but it is so true. the men are on diets left and right. it's weird (add that to the list of things weird at my office.)
side note: this means I have been at my office for one full year. Last year, around his birthday I had just started and had to go get (actually, the same cake) from billy's bakery. When i went to pick it up, they asked if I wanted something written on the cake. I was like "ehh..uhhh...yeah that would be great, but these people are weird, they might not like lettering on cakes...ehh..uhh...no" so this year, I am having "happy birthday [insert eeyore's name]" written in light blue on the top of the cake. let's hope this doesn't blow anyone's mind.
Back to point, I need to make the right decision tomorrow when it comes to a pivotal cake moment.
.... do you think there is any red velvet cake in these legs??
yeah, i don't think so either.
and I mean, she still looks happy right?! even though the closest thing to red velvet cake she has eaten is probably red peppers.
here's to taking advantage of pivotal moments this week....
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