You know. It’s how
only I can do it.
Shaking my head.
I’m going to dinner with this guy tonight.
Let me give you the short version of this not-so-interesting
/ mildly-pathetic story of my life.
Sometime, I guess early fall or over summer, this guy in the
kitchen introduced himself to me. We
share a kitchen with another company that has about 60 employees. It was a forward “I haven’t met you” sort of
thing. Besides the other receptionist I
don’t really know the other people over there by name. I have slowly come to know a few, but it’s
more like just pleasantries in the kitchen, not actually knowing someone. Anywho, I met him and thought, oh he’s good
looking, no ring, friendly…cool.
We had chatted in group conversation with some other people
that I am friends with over there in passing.
Someone told him I went to Tech and we had some football convos as he
went to a southern school and our teams played each other. No thoughts over it really. He had got my email so send me some football
something so we had exchanged a couple fun emails.
Over one of the tech games, he came by and said he would bet
me. He said If I won the bet that he
would take me to the restaurant downstairs and buy me the most expensive
drink. I mulled it over and thought…”how
is that me winning??!! You GET to buy me a drink if I win the bet??” seemed off to me but whatever. I told him if he won the bet, I would bring
in baked goods w/ his team name on them.
the following Monday at work, one of our work friends asked if I had
seen him to tell him I won the bet. I
nonchalantly said “no” and my friend said “oh
well, it’s Halloween, he is probably with his kids. You know he has a bunch of kids, right?”
I hoped I had hid the look of surprise on my face. (remember this is the short version…I was
really like WTF and then made up in my head all these scenarios of what
happened to his perhaps deceased wife). Of
course, then, I look online to do some research.
Wow. What a
surprise. Birth announcement for he and
his wife for twins in august of 2010.
(remember, this is fall of 2011!!!)
wow, lifetime reality show of your wedding (unfortunately, I could not
locate footage, but the show description is there).
He didn’t really push the “I owe you a drink thing” and
instead I was sent a bottle of wine from his trip to Sonoma. I thought this is great – I have wine, I don’t
have to go for it, the bet is paid. We’re cool.
I play along with him and other of his coworkers in the
lottery. He will email me here or there. Finds a reason to add me on i.m…
Now mind you, I am just as nice to him as anyone else. I feel like I don’t know his situation so I will be kind and nice, yet appropriate. I did ask one of my girlfriends over there what
his deal is (but in the most indiscrete way) and she is like “yeah he is
married and has kids, but he is really private about it.”
Oh yeah, he had still never mentioned his wife / kids. One day we played lottery, just he and I on a
ticket, and I told him “well, don’t think you’re getting more than half to take
home to the family, just fyi” you know. Nudge, nudge,…I’m aware!!
Yet, still no ring. Still
flirting with me. He told me about some wedding in the city he had to go to and
made it a point to tell me that he and his friends were all going stag. Someone was joking and went around the table
saying “divorced, single, separated, single, ..” etc. again, I take it to point out to me that he
is SINGLE. Shrug, whatever.
I was invited to their company’s Christmas party by him and
others but didn’t go. A few weeks ago a
guy over there was having a going-away party and he invited me to come. I mean it’s not a huge deal, but I just
thought ‘eh’ … okay at this point, he
will im me and tell me how nice I look, but say it all like “not to be weird,
but can I say something…” flattery. Where
do people THINK it is going to get them???
I agreed to come to the happy hour (with all the coworkers
of the other company invited) but on the last day, I was just sorta thought I
shouldn’t go. We all know..well, some of
you know how I get when I am drunk.
Fortunately, I am a fun drunk (not the whiny cry baby kind like this
other assistant here), but I just told him honestly, “look, word on the street
is you are married, so I’m not going to come and drink and say or do anything inappropriate.”
I was super proud of myself for just saying the honest truth, you know, you're a nice guy but you're married and i don't want to be inappropriate - which to me, is the honest truth of it. Those who know me, know that I was FLIPPING
OUT just typing this into instant messenger to say, hey, I’m just not down for
that. He declares to me that no one
knows and it is a secret, but that he and his wife are SEPARATED, etc. etc.
Okay. short end of it. Somehow I agreed on getting a drink
with him. I believe my comment after he
asked me again and again about it was “yeah, you can buy me a drink and tell me
just how MARRIED you are!!” Which has
turned into dinner tonight. FML.
I have made it clear that I am no homewrecker.
I know what you’re thinking WTF, KR!!!
I know.
God help me to go in and just be me – which is someone of
high value and character.
I’m trying to be someone that doesn’t just put a STAMP on
people. Like you are THIS and write them off.
This thought though has brought me into some realities with other
friendships that I have condemned or judged others in situations. It has definitely opened my eyes to just the
difficulty in life and standing in others
shoes and how we automatically assume and judge. we categorize people and we make excuses.
That said, I’m not considering ANYTHING with this
person. Eye roll. I know. I know what you’re thinking and I’m
thinking the same thing. Dummy. Oh and he is not as young as he originally
looked either. I think he is 36 or
38.
I’m having 2 drinks. That’s it. Hope to be home by 9:30p and
done with it.
I can be friends with the guy and will be very curious to
see how far along this separation thing is.
The other thing in this whole thing is how HIGHLY I hold the vows of
marriage. I will likely shamelessly plug
that he should get back this his wife. I’ll
be curious if he says he cheated or if the grass is just greener. I can’t imagine he would admit to me that he
cheated. But I also can’t imagine a mom
with toddlers and a 6-yr old cheating on her hubby.
There are so many other thoughts that have been in my mind
here. Like how I would not want my
husband talking to or taking some lil girl out for drinks. Seriously It makes me wanna vomit to think of
me being this cute, young thing building some asshole dad’s ego.
But whatever, I’ll go to dinner. He is funny so hopefully it will be entertaining. 2 drinks and I’m done.
I also felt bad or shameful like telling my friends this,
that I agreed to go to dinner. Part of
me thinks that’s enough to just not go, but the other part of me feels like I agreed
to go because I don’t want to assume all these things or what someone is or isn’t...BUT I wanted to be honest with you, my blog readers.
…and….
…I know how much the people love me in awkward not-date
situations, so folks , you might get a great one after tonight.
Lastly, I watched how to lose a guy in 10 days on valentine’s
day. I have considered pulling a “how to
get rejected from a guy after one dinner” card.
Maybe start crying and say “why do you think I’m fat.” Just go nutso a-la josh miller picnic, but
way worse and psycho-like. Gosh I would
love to do that. If I had a friend that
could film it, I totally would.
So it’s the sort of situation, only-me. Jeez louise.
I also woke up with hearts all over my face (literally)
because I had drawn a pink heart on my hand and slept on it and I had 3 perfect
pink hears on my face and neck. Then I burned my hand with the curling iron. Then
I spilled sugar all over the kitchen. Then I spilled my coffee. Then my
magazine (which I wasn’t aware had coffee on it) imprinted the ink into the
barstool. Then I was steaming my silk
shirt in a rush out and burnt my neck. Thin
red vertical burn line on my chest/neck.
All before 9. … good luck to this
guy cause today has been pretty shitty.
Okay, really lastly, I am dressed like I am going on an
interview (sans the jacket) as to not be inappropriately dressed. I thought it’s the next best thing to a moo
moo, basically because I don’t own a moo-moo.
Okay, gotta go.
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