1 Hour of Volunteerism vs. 1 Hour with your Shrink

Now, you all know that I am no psychiatrist.  I have no degrees in the human brain and have not done any elaborate research projects on what makes people tick.

That said, I really think that someone should do some research around this....

One of the bosses in my office, the French man, whom also sits directly behind me with the only separation being half a wall and glass, always has a private (or locked in microsoft outlook) appointment for every other week, or once a month or whatever.  I never asked what this was because I assume that's why he has it marked as private, but he says every time, "alright, I've got to go see my shrink."

I laugh every time, not because I think it's that funny that he is going to it, but that it's called a "shrink" and that is so very new York city or L.A.!  People in the south don't say "I'm going to the shrink," they say "i'm going to my counselor (or therapist or psychologist or something)."  I really hope he doesn't think that I'm laughing because he goes, it's just when he says it.  And then his partner that he started the company with knows too (I guess it's not really that private) so when he mentions "Oh, he is at the shrink" ..again laughter.

Anywho.  He went to visit his shrink this week.  Naturally, when a person is getting "help" you are curious what it is for.  I didn't even wonder because I automatically assume it's to discuss the issues with his parents he has...you know the dad who is on his 3rd or 4th marriage and has children (mind you this man is early 40's) who are elementary age with his young current wife.  [his dad, not him, this guy is single and when I asked him why he said something to the extent of his family doesn't really have a very good track record with marriage]  I imagine he goes to be able to talk to someone about life struggles and whatever.  Now that I'm writing I guess he could be going because he has a sex/drug/porn addiction.  Who knows.  Let's assume it's the former.  Just the general "I've been wronged, help me work through the emotional damage that  my very well-off upbringing brought to me."  And relationship issue, that is definitely a part too (in my mind.)

I got to thinking this week when he went, you know, how much better would he be served emotionally, spiritually, physically if he went and volunteered for that one hour instead of spending it with the shrink.

If he went and spent it with the aid/hiv guests that live in the Rivingdale house where Katie and I went to help them play bingo the other Friday.  A quarter of the 50 or 60 people that filled the room were in wheelchairs because their disease was getting the best of them.  They all looked like they had been "ridden hard and put up to dry" (as Natalie would say).  They were very sweet people but just in such a sad situation living with an incurable disease.  In our world's standard today and certainly by New York City standards, they are the low of the low.  Several of them also looked to have additional mental or physical handicaps.

I thought to myself when a person spends an hour with these people, their problems/issues/struggles quickly evaporate.  These people, most of them, don't have the ability to make any other way about life.  When we played bingo, they were glad to win these dumb little trinket (treasures) off the cart that included everything from a pair of jeans (non-designed mind you!), a beanie hat, makeup/perfume samples, and other donated items.

I think it could just be so eye-opening for a person like this that needs a shrink to discuss their woes to go for one hour and serve someone else with legitimate physical and mental, very apparent, incurable woes.

What would that look that?  How could that change a person's life? How would he come back from his session if he spent it this way?  Or spent it with children at the Ronald Mcdonald House?  or spent his hour handing out food to the poor?  What would the effect of that "shrinkage" be?

I know the feeling and results of serving others.  It's humbling, sometimes difficult, but always, always more rewarding to serve other people.

This guy seems to be very (whatever that means) charitable, but there is a difference between writing a check to art museums and film foundations and coming eye to eye with human beings that have such deep struggle and need...and perhaps the utter realization that we are all the same too.  That the executive with their deep-seeded struggles is the same as the human being that sits in that aids home.  just a person that has hopes and wants things but has to deal with and struggle through whatever life they have been given.  This also then strips away at the eliteness, the TOP 1%, that this brand of people have, if they were to learn that when you take away the asset comparisons, the educations, the differences in bank account number, the amount of international travel...strip it all away...and...well, you're not that special.  we are all the same.  we're just people trying to do life the best with what we've been given.

If he were to trade in his Shrink-hour for a midday volunteer-hour, I would think that he could not come back to the office without a posture of utter gratefulness and delight for the life that he has.  Or maybe at the beginning, at least a lot to think about.  Yes, his life is stressful.  Yes, I'm sure it's difficult in ways - even (and maybe even more so) for a person who has always had great assets...but then it's broken down, and we realize it's just life.  Precious life that we have been blessed with and perhaps he could look around and see the abundance that he has been blessed with.  (not that I don't think he could be partially grateful, but I could imagine that at many points in life when the card you're dealt is son to a majorly successful music mogul the poor-me list that is in the mind could be long).

I wish some of my coworkers would experience serving others.  The life change that would ensue I could only imagine as being just that...absolutely life changing.  But maybe that's just it, I imagine that in itself would be very scary.  It takes courage to do something or experience something that is going to change everything about your life.  I think this experience over a few times (i.e. volunteering or trading out an hour with the shrink for an hour of volunteering) could completely change the way a person interacts and experiences the world around them. I think for the better.

So that is my hypothesis. If there is a shrink or counselor or psychologist out there willing to try it, let me know!