Sabotage

Dang!  somebody is trying to SABOTAGE me!!  and AT THAT, it's one of my bosses!!!

This guy gets me to order his personal lunch some days.  Most the other guys wouldn't ask me to do this, but he really likes having an asst. and feeling "cool" so I really don't mind.  Plus, the way I see it is, if he is full and not hungry, then he will be nicer to me, and that has proven true. Sometimes he will eat the candy and snacks on the white table for his "lunch" and on those days, it's not pretty for anybody.

Any who, he has gotten in the habit of getting the same grilled chicken pita from Pita Joe's.  He will come to my desk, or if I ask him if he wants lunch he'll say "yeah, order the regular" and I order "the regular" and put it on his personal credit card.

So today, he came and asked me to get "the regular" around 1:30pm and I gladly click over to my Outlook Notes to pull up his order and the phone number.  After several tries, all I am getting is that the phone number has been disconnected and also the website is down for online orders.  I'm not sure if the place went out of business or WHAT!

I let him know and suggest two other options.  He settles with a Greek Salad w/ chicken from this cafe called Grey Dog.  I place his order.

Then I remember how when I first started my job, a delivery guy from Grey Dog came that was so HOT!

I go about my business, and then before you know it, I'm walking back to my desk and the most gorgeous, tall hipster is standing in front of MY desk calling MY name!  (not the same one as the time before...a different, even better looking one!!)

"that's me" i say, all while trying to play it cool in front of his hotness.

the total cost was $14 something and I didn't blink an eye about putting in a $3 or $4 tip (I mean, who knows if there was already a delivery fee?? I couldn't focus!!!) - that's over 20% people!

I carried the food back to his office and let him know...

"OMGAHHHHH this has to be your new lunch place!!! The delivery guy is SOOOO CUTE!!!"  followed by a hand-to-the-forehead, half faint as I held on to the glass door in his office for support of my falling body.

the delivery guy had dark hair with sorta beiber swoosh under a almost-flat cap, that I'm pretty certain had the A-town A on it.

I go on to tell my boss that this is very important because "wow!!! i mean this guy is dreamy"
my boss - this one - he is a generally awkward guy who really doesn't quite know how to take me most of the time, so he is just like looking down at his desk and kinda smiling (he rarely smiles) like not knowing what to say.

Then I realize that I am wearing my business woman skirt suit today.  I never where a suit, but I happened to today.  Before he says anything, and is still looking at me..I start to flip out and say something to the extent of  "oh, but i was wearing THIS, damnit, i should have dressed more hipster!!!!"  and run dramatically out of his office.

everyone did comment on how great i looked today in this suit, but i saw myself in a full store mirror in it this afternoon..and it is NOT hot!  it's boxy, it's a suit!

I run to Alissa's cube and she says "i know!!!"  as she is still on a conference call holding the phone to her ear, but we gather together to drool as she saw him from 20 feet away.  my words can hardly come out to tell her!!

....

now to the sabotage!  i'm sitting here watching the Bachelor from this week and happen to check my mail.

this boss has emailed me with the subject line: "salad wasn't nearly as good as pita! Sorry!"

WHAT??!!! wait, WHAT?!!
why is he trying to keep me from being happy?
whyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!
why are people so selfish??!  i'm sure that salad was a good salad!  i've never had a bad thing from there?!  [did he realize that he paid $18 for it maybe? :-)]

i don't usually email with work people at night.  I don't like to let them think that i'm always available, but my emotions can not be caged.

My response:  "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!  Don't worry I'll still keep being your assistant if I marry the grey dog delivery guy!!  I mean, clearly, I will need to keep my job!!!  Sandwich!  try a sandwich next time!"

i should have used a question mark so he would reply and relieve my concerns of never seeing this delivery guy again.

sighhhhhh.

why?
why does he want to sabotage me?
I've done nothing but good for him.
some people....