Learning how to cook eggs

YALL, I was blown away at work yesterday.

Yesterday was a generally dull day at the office.  It was gross weather outside, so I didn’t leave for lunch.  This means I was here inside from 8:30am until 7pm.  My own fault, but I start to get depressed around 2pm and it’s downhill from there being cramped up here with these guys that are boring as shit.  I’m sure they aren’t really boring, but the whole day could go by without them speaking to me and if they do, it’s just about scheduling a meeting.  It’s kinda annoying how much time I spend with these people and how little real conversation you have.  But whatever, that’s not the point.

The point is, 2 of them were standing at my desk.  The French guy and who I previously called Asberger’s, but I think this is sorta not pc to call him this, even though I only say it in truth not to be mean… so I need to call him something else.  Let’s call him Headache because more often than not, he is a pain to deal with., or not, better yet, let’s call him Eeyore because he is always mopey and sad.  Always.  So the French guy and Eeyore were standing at my desk at like 6pm. 

and the French guy tells eeyore “how were the eggs?” 

I look very confused at them, not trying to involve myself in their conversation but if a conversation is happening within a 5 feet circumference of my desk, then it’s my business.

Eeyore replies “they were good.” 

Back story: Eeyore for one year has been dating this lady.  He is 43, she claims she is 32, though some in my office think she looks older.  They met on NYE of last year and she moved in with him like a month later.  She lives in his apartment, doesn’t work.  She is a pretty Pilipino lady who is always put together, but very much carries herself as the trophy wife, very done up, lots of makeup, cute and petite.  Let’s call her trophy girlfriend. 

I have at times said things when he is like, “I’m hungry!” I say “why doesn’t trophy girlfriend bring lunch to you?  Doesn’t she have time?”  I mean they do live like 6 blocks away only.

Anywho, so he had already said during the holidays how trophy girlfriend made these cookies that were HORRIBLE.  I didn’t know it was possible to make horrible cookies and I reprimanded him for saying such a thing to the girl. But really, I did know it was possible.  Cookies are either hard or "woops, I added to much salt" but they aren't horrible.  I have been baking forever and didn’t realize girls existed that can’t bake.  She couldn’t bake the cookies, so he bought cooking classes for her.  She has been attending these cooking classes, though I’m not sure what she is learning.

Yesterday, when the French guy asked “how were the eggs?”  apparently, this was in response to trophy girlfriend LEARNING HOW TO COOK EGGS.  Learning how to scramble eggs, fry eggs and make an omelet.

I was shocked.  In my shock and outrage I’m sitting with my mouth wide open and the words coming out as “Are you kidding me?  Who (women, specifically) can’t cook eggs??!”

Then the French guy defends it “Most girls in the city don’t know how to really cook, they don’t have kitchens, and besides how will we impress them?”  He also says "I mean it's kinda hard to make a perfect omelet with the flip-over"  (I mean we are talking eggs!  IS IT really that difficult to make an omelet?  I mean if you've watched a person make an omelet at a food station at a restaurant or hotel, can't you just emulate this??)

I was flabbergasted. 

Absolutely flabbergasted.

I couldn’t get my mind off of it the rest of the afternoon. 

I don’t know how your feel is on gender roles.  I think women should work if they want to work or stay home if they want to stay home.  have kids or not.  wear pantyhose or don't. like to chop lumber or don't.  hate dirt or like it.  I don't care.  But I also think, DAMN, a girl should know how to make EGGS!!  Did your momma not teach you anything?!!

I think the ladies should be able to cook a couple things and the man should be able to kill a bug and be strong enough to open a jar and be able to fix things (or at least figure out how to problem solve for something else to fix something).  Please, people!

That said, I have friends who aren’t good at cooking…that’s fine, but to not know how to do such simple things.  I mean, at a very minimum can’t you look online and figure out how to do these things?  Maybe I should make a youtube video for how to cook eggs for the women in nyc.  Maybe yes, that will be my part to correct this issue.  And title it on youtube as “Leisure women of new York city, learn how to cook eggs!”

I still am in disbelief.  These are the basics of life that I’m not sure how a person would not learn how to do. 

Maybe I’m a little more drastic about this since I cook fried eggs every morning for breakfast.

Now we did address that I wasn’t talking about doing the poached egg like in the Julia Childs movie.  That is a whole other level, though the Frenchman seemed to know exactly how to do this with vinegar, etc.  I might try to learn this just to blow the other women in this city away!  J But clearly, I can cook something so I’m leaps and bounds ahead. 

I’m still shaking my head.  Can you believe this ladies?  It’s food!  Maybe too being from the south, we treat food differently, I don’t know.  Maybe the people here are just so used to going out to restaurants and maybe the small kitchen has to do with it??!! But I just don’t know.  I need to ask one of the guys with teenage girls if his girls are learning how to cook from their mom. 

I did ask the other asst. who is from NJ if she knew how to cook an egg.  She does.  Surprisingly.

If you don’t know how to cook an egg, be on the lookout for my video soon. 

I still can’t believe it… can you?!!