My Thoughts on Running in the NYRR Ted Corbitt 15k Yesterday

In no particular order....

• There are a lot of big-bottom girls that run in New York City.  I typically think of serious runners being on the thinner side, and maybe that's the fastest ladies, but there were a lot of ladies out running yesterday that had some big booties.  This makes me wonder what it looks like to run behind me.  This I will never know and would probably rather never know.  I run thinkin' i'm all fit and my waste is getting small and "go me" i'm wearing this size SM adidas jacket to run in, but my booty and thighs are pretty big, so I am too one of those big-bottom girl runners in NYC. 
• Right when the race was starting, and the people with me at the back of the pack that reported a 9 min 40 sec mile...yes, that's basically the back of the pack with NY runners were having to wait for the several thousands in front of us to get going, I had my iphone now in place with pandora on and it was playing "Sexy Back" by Justin Timberlake.  The same song that was playing at the exact time right before the start of my Fitness 5k I ran earlier this year.  This is a fabulous amp you up song and I have no problem bee-boping in line while I am waiting to get going.
• On mile 4 of 9.3 when we were coming back up the opposite side of the first oval in the park we had to complete, this other justin timberlake song cameo on my pandora.  it's the one where he says "drums" (Can't nobody love you like i love you) and as I was pulling my weight up this little hill trying to think how the hell I was going to do another 5 of these, right when Justin said drums, i notice this street performer right on the side of the running trail in the park beating his own drums that were setup.  He had a silver and red "Merry Christmas" sign hung up on his drum set and was going to town with his beats.  I thought "thanks god, that was good"  little signs.  little encouragement. 
• On around mile 6, pandora pulled out this song which nearly brought me to tears.  no, seriously, like legitimate, cry-fest tears.  I had to pull it together because i could not breathe and cry at the same time.  Just something about it. so many people want to tell us who we should be.  i don't feel lovely and beautiful most of the time, but I would like to.  soulful song.  she says "i can't be all these things you project on me"  really love this girl - sara haze

• I walked some in mile 6 and some in mile 8.  I reminded myself that I wasn't racing for a time, I just was racing to complete the event.  In the middle of mile 8, THIS song came on!!!

and I run and I sing and I dance while I run!  it's great!  

• I have been singing a lot to my music while I run, no matter who's around.  I mean it's not like I'm going to see these people again.  This song also came on my Pandora

I so remember when this song and video came out! I loved it!!  and while I was running my little heart out, I was remembering how gorgeous Mariah looked with her thin legs in this video.  yes, that was my motivation.  

• COLD.  I don't think I've mentioned how unbelievably cold it was.  i had to get my number and timing shoe ticket thing in the morning.  so I had to wait for the bus in the cold.  FREEZING COLD.  then I got to the race 30 minutes early.  this is great when it's nice out and you're there early to stretch.  This is miserable when it feels like 28 degrees you, and I have on capri light pants.  FREEZING COLD.  I had on 3 layers up top, and fortunately had grabbed a pair of amateur gloves and the only beanie I could find.  i mean it was SOOOOO cold.  that's the part too, where this whole thing was a very bad idea! 
• I pulled my time online today.  I completed 9.3 miles in 1 hour, 35 minutes.  it was an avg of 10 minutes and 17 seconds per mile.  this is really good for me, i think.  Especially considering i hadn't really been, really training, for distance.  I ran 8 miles last weekend in preparation.  I had completed 3-4 4.5-5 milers in the past month or so, but that's it!  so glad I met it through. 
• Racing in NYC is fun, but before and after the race, you have to public transit and WALK yourself to/from.  it was still freezing after when the bus couldn't come fast enough . at one point I was at one train stop and I was going back and forth as I couldn't decide to just walk to try to get home, or stand in the cold to wait for the bus.  i must have looked nutso because I literally walked 5 ft one direction, then back, then no - back, then no - i'll wait.  you get the idea.  nuts. 
• I was so out of it when i was done with the race, I didn't even remember to get my race shirt.  I guess it wasn't really that important and I don't usually wear them anyways, but I realized when I got home that I still have my tshirt coupon on my number. 

okay, think that's all i got on my running random thoughts.  long distances like this.  not that much fun.  only when you're done. 

Good Morning, Day.

okay, i really have to go to bed because Ash and I are running are race at 9:30am tomorrow morning.  that's right!  We are in New York Road Runners club, and I got the newsletter on Monday that they have a group of Young Professional runners in NYRR and they are hosting a fun run on Saturday.  I think I'm doing the 5 mile route, then it concludes with hot chocolate and christmas goodies! yeahhhh you got it!  if we're supposed to be there at 9am, we are leaving at 8:15am.  it's all of about 2 miles from us.  that's kinda funny right?!  but we'll catch the bus to go over so we don't have to walk that before running.  

For those of you who don't follow me on instagram: kristen_n_nyc, i wanted to share with you my pictures from this morning. 

I think I have mentioned before, but I just love what I see most days coming out of the subway in the morning.  I walk underground until the closest point to my office (this station is HUGE like 4 blocks wide so I stay underground for the shortest path) where I come above ground.  it's the middle of union square, so it's not coming out right at a building.  I see wide sky.  On monday, Wed and Friday when the Union Square Farmer's Market is in action, I come out to a booth of fresh flowers, or jams, or like this morning - gift boxes (think they had jams in them)  

I snapped all of these this morning in about 30 seconds as I was rushing off to work, late, as usual!  I just love coming out to work to all this.  I walk just over to my street close by and am off to my elevator on that block to get up to work.  

When I worked at Anthro I wasn't crazy about this area - but maybe I just wasn't seeing the right things.  on the other end of union square, on one sunday morning, there were lots of homeless people sadly trying to keep cold last winter.  there is that.  

i'm glad i don't see that every morning. i don't know if I could handle seeing something like that every morning, feeling so helpless.  

Glad I have been given a great morning start, even when the train may be packed full and people being obnoxious, to walk out to the fresh air and this open blue sky is just awesome. 

Tres Leches - Triple Cream Liquer treat drink

Let me explain to you how delicious this liquer is.  it's DELICIOUS!!!

When we were in Cape Cod, we stepped into this little store for some water, and they had liquor.  Then we were hoping to get some Bailey's, but the guy suggested this stuff.  I bought a 12-mini bottle pack for $12...great deal, right?!  anywho, it's certainly not that cheap in Manhattan.

it is the perfect serving to pour into a cup of coffee or into a cup of hot chocolate.

I mean it makes it taste just sooo rich and great.

you should try it.

Tres Leches - Triple Cream Liquer.

let me know if you want to know where in Charlotte to find it because I think Nat and Christina hunted some down.

I think Emily Conrad Mueller will really like this.

I recommend using Swiss Miss hot chocolate with the marshmallows.  make it, eat the marshmallows off the top, then pour this in, give a little stir.

then try not to burn your mouth as you want to just guzzle the whole thing it's that delicious.

mmmmmmmm!!!!!

Realist or Cloud Head?

One morning this week, I was down at the office jerk's desk talking something.

OH, i know, the other asst. wasn't at her desk - she sits back in the corner outside the office of Cranky Pants.  She is back there by herself when he is travelling, like this week.  So I asked the Office Jerk where she was.  He was like "i don't know."  I was a little concerned about her.  I know sometimes CP will tell her not to come in when he is out, but I sure hope someone would ask where I was if I just didn't show up in the morning.  w/ CP travelling internationally, who knows if something happened to her if she just didn't show up.

So I started saying this to the office jerk - like, seriously, what if something happened to her.  he said to me "don't talk like that."

I say "what? i'm just sayin'.  I'm a realist."  [as in, realistically, let's ask where she is in case something happened to her...disclaimer: nothing happened to her, CP had told her to come in later so she would work later when he was back in the country]

his response, in laughter, was "you're not a Realist!  your head is in the clouds most the time!"

. can you believe this fool?!

just because I am a happy person doesn't mean i'm not realistic.  i do have a hope greater than he knows that makes me HAPPY, but i'm still a realist.

it just made me ponder how co-workers know very little about a person, even though we spend 40, or 45 in my case, minimum hours together every week of our lives.  and they know nothing.

my friends know I am realistic and sometimes to a downfall.  i don't think i'm dreamy.  I'm creative.  I'm thoughtful.  but i'm not unrealistic.

maybe i need to show these people my realistic side a little more.

I mean i was being realistic when I told asberger's if he never decorated for the holidays (and whatever that means for being jewish too) that he only had about half his life left to decorate so he might want to get on it.

when I delivered a stack of biz cards back to one of the guys that I had already entered into his outlook contacts...he said "what am I gonna do with these?"  The guys have a tendency to just stack them on the desk.  and I told him. simple. "you're going to keep them for another 15 or 20 years and then you, or someone else for you will throw them all away.  and you'll never use them after I hand them to you either"
i mean, that's real.
and business cards are out.  let's go all digital, baby!

so the end of the story.  this fool thinks he knows something about me, but he has no idea.
but I guess as things go, there is a lot worse ways to be thought of then as someone who has their head in the clouds.  because it is beautiful up there.

Non-Worship

At work today, I was reminded of how these people like to be worshiped.  How, in fact, their aim is to be worshiped by others.

But let me set out to begin with to say that...I year later in New York City...I still won't.

Cranky pants came back from a 4-day trip to China today.  He very kindly brought back a collection of souvenirs from Shanghai (freeze dried chicken claws, cucumber pringles, a 100-yr old freeze dried egg, keychains ...the usual Chinese crazy-sauce souvenirs and food).  He did what he called show-and-tell after the 'tequila friday' that has been happening every Friday at 6:30pm in our office.

note on tequila Friday.  i'm pretty certain that he does this under the mask of a nice gesture, but he really wants to see who is still there Friday at 6:30pm, because in his book he is taking notes and attendance.  that said, since the summer when all the bosses would go to their upstate or hamptons homes at 2pm every friday, that no longer exists and I have to miss Craig Smith's 6:30pm dance class on Fridays every time now.  not happy at all about that.

We all gathered around for his show and tell, and everyone stares at him expectantly to hear what marvelous stories he will bring back to us commoners.  (he did the same thing for his India trip).  sorry if I sound like a bitch about this, but it's like REALLY?!  everyone listens intently (myself included) and laughs on cue, followed by an un-inspired question like today's "cranky pants, what was your favorite food in china?"

this is just all so hard for me to stomach.  the new kid that started over the summer, well, he spent two summers in Hong Kong.  I've been to China twice (AS IF anyone cared to know).  He seriously thought he was bringing back all these exciting things from the other side of the world...but no one dare say, "ya, ya dip, we've been too, let's talk like normal people"

One of my co-workers, the other organizational girl who has been there for 3 yrs has said to me on more than one occasion "he hates that you don't think he's awesome."

now I don't know if she is saying that just to flatter me, which could be true.
or If she really thinks that it bothers him that I don't fall on the ground in front of him to pick the shit off his feet.

I did turn down his job.  i think I told you, but probably a month after I was full-time, word came that his asst. was leaving, and for then the next month, here or there his asst. or the org lady would ask me to take his job.

the whole time I said "hell no!"  'NO WAY'
i'm sorry, but the dude didn't speak to me for the first 2 weeks I was there.  He would literally walk by my desk and not acknowledge me.  I think that's just rude and poor taste.  I was not trying to get into the weave.

okay, maybe my other couple of bosses that I work with don't care if I worship them, not most of them, but with some of the junior staff, you can already see them trying to take the patterns of the worship-me people. it's sick.

the 'worship me' syndrome comes through a lot though masked as the "i'm ivy league and 100% know everything in life" syndrom.  that must be so tiresome.  that problem affects several of my co-workers.

a lot of them, just work so hard to be right and superior.
I don't think there is anything wrong with working hard and working with excellence, but sometimes the superiority just is dripping off.

then I feel really bad for them.  imagine how overwhelming to have to live every day in a way where, on the outside, you make no mistakes.  you are perfect.  you know everything.

that just sounds so tiring to me.
let me be the first to say - I am NOT PERFECT!  not even close.  i'm not the smartest.  i'm not the best-looking.  i don't have all the answers.  I mess up, act mean, hate on people, lose patience quite often. damn though, it's so freeing to know there is this grace that covers that all up and makes it all okay.  every day. it also makes me know I'm not anybody deserving of worship.  God, i hope no one is looking at me to worship.

then when I think of this non-worship idea, it makes me think how we are all equal.  If you think you're someone to be worshiped, then you think you are better than people around you.  You are superior.  You have it more together.  You have more fame, more money, more desirable life - you are better.  But I cannot go with this.  people are people.  we are all humans of the human race.  If you live in a way where you think you are to be worshiped, then you think that you are above others.

doubt it.
newsflash. you're not.

people think they have such open minds.  it's not open until you realize that we all have the same value.  we are all someone's child.  we were all created just perfectly special and terrific.  We all are different and something special, but everyone has it.  We are all people who deserve love - no more, no less.  all of us the same, sitting here with one life, some short measured number of days to figure out what it means for us to live it, after all of which our physical bodies lay under 6 ft of dirt or in a concrete thing or in the ocean if you're ashes or whatever.  maybe my ashes should go in central park, btw.

so long story (not-short) I ain't gonna worship any of these fools.  I will treat them all the same - like people. I will muster all the kindness, care, love to show to them that I can possibly muster as an imperfect selfish person.

and don't worry.  I don't just hold them to this. I didn't worship Tony Stewart or Jimmy Johnson or Denny Hamlin or any of those NASCAR drivers.  I didn't worship Dale Earnhardt when i went to his little ranchy ranch.  I didn't worship shorty Ryan Seacrest.  I didn't worship my dad or my mom when they said they would hook me up with some dollars here or there.  although my friends are brilliant and lovely, I don't hold them up so high as to worship them.

so people did get tricked if they ever think that's how i will act. i will act with respect too.  but there is another thing coming if these people expect something more than non-worship.