Swimming Caps REQUIRED

This morning I got up and went to the gym, very reluctantly.  I was awake all night with a head cold and sore throat, but was not yet willing to give up my 16^th consecutive weekday morning at the gym.  I just couldn’t do it. [side note: so amazed and grossed out that I slept with a cough drop in my mouth for several hours and it was still there when I woke up. Weird.]

Anyways, so I groggily, sadly and overly grumpily go to the gym.  This Wednesday morning, I was going to follow in suit with what I did last Wednesday morning, and do a swimming pool workout.  I’ll swim some laps, tread some water and try to enjoy doing a different activity to mix things up. 

I stumbled into the gym with my bathing suit already on with a skirt and tshirt on over it.  It’s also nice not to have to put on the sneakers and I don’t bring any above-water workout clothes because my intention is to swim. 

I go through the dressing room and into the pool area where a dude is sitting, same as last time.  When Katie visited the gym, she got the tour too and noticed that there was some guy just sitting there in the pool area.  So this time, I acknowledge, “So are you the lifeguard?”  to which he replies “yeah.” 

It was weird last week, although there was another lady there, who appeared to be a swimming regular, he just sat there.  You don’t really know that he is a lifeguard or if he is just taking a break, or what.  It’s pretty odd for some guy just to sit there in the pool area and watch.  This pool is small.  If there were lane guards, it would make into only about 2, maybe 2.5 lanes.  It’s the size of a pool in someone’s backyard, but nice to have a pool in the city to use, even if it is underground.

So I strip off my tshirt and skirt and am about to get in, when he says “you need a shower cap.”  I say “huh?, really?”  Then he points to a posted sign that reads “swimming cap required to enter the pool”

I just sort of stand there and look at him, thinking to myself… “I swam last week without a cap.”  He is like “yeah sorry you need a swimming cap.”  I stand there in my bathing suit, giving him the stare of death a little longer.  Mind you my head still feels like it’s going to explode from this head cold thing. 

He says “you can get one upstairs maybe.” 

I stare again for another 10 seconds or so trying to wrap my mind around what he is telling me, as well as the fact that I have never worn a swimming cap and was not seeing this happen.

I say “is that going to cost something because I don’t have any money with me.”

He says like. “ I dunno.”

At this point, I’m giving up.  I can’t go upstairs and do anything because all I have is flip flops and beachwear. 

I don’t speak another word to him, but put my clothes back on and head back to the locker room. 

I stand dramatically in front of the mirror with my head in my hands trying to decide what I’m going to do.  I guess I will just give up on this today, I tried, but I’ll go back home and sleep or whatever. 

After I stand there for a bit depressed, I move along to the locker where my stuff is.  I pull it all out and with my gym bag around my arm, the locker room attendant lady asks me “what’s the problem?”

This lady, Monique (if I remember correctly), introduced herself to me yesterday saying that she sees me here every morning.  She seems nice enough, but most mornings I hear here just chatting with the other guys that work there or talking on her phone in the massage room cursing up a storm – f bomb this and f bomb that. Kinda annoying and very unprofessional.  Anyways, I tell her “I don’t have a swimming cap, I can’t go in”

She says “oh no, just use one of these bags” and motions to the small New York Health and Racquet Club bags that are available for people to put wet clothes in.  She says that people do this all the time and the lifeguard just has to be fair to everyone, that everyone has to be required to wear a swimming cap. 

I’m standing there, head all down, like I seriously cannot be bothered and am so annoyed he is messing up my workout.  She nudges me a little more “this will ruin your whole day, you got to do it, use the bag tie it around your head, people do it all the time”

I’m thinking now – wow, really? Am I going to wrap a plastic bag around my head to go swimming.  I lift a bag and look in the mirror, curious if it will even fit over my big noggin – it does.  I guess this could work. 

I tie if off at the nape of my neck and decide….”LET’S DO THIS SHIT!”

I put my bag back in the locker and grab another towel. 

RE-DO.

I go back into the pool area, where the lifeguard kid is still sitting, hanging out, listening to his music.

I walk in there with a “you can’t stop me” sort of look, but not at him, I don’t look AT him. 

He sorta smirks at me, and I can’t help but crack a smile as I undress AGAIN thinking that I BEAT HIM!!  He tried to hold me down, but it is NOT possible.

I proceeded to swim with a plastic bag over my head.  It stayed on mostly, though I didn’t go underwater (it wasn’t that tight.)  I almost lost it once, but then I tucked the handles around my ears to make it a little more secure, also thinking how absolutely ridiculous I must look.  I did look very ridiculous, but I’m not in to swimming caps, so I might do this again next time, although it would be nice to be able to swim underwater.

I guess I know now – SWIMMING CAPS REQUIRED.

I hope you didn’t start your morning with a bag over your head, but if you did, just remember 

CAN'T NOBODY HOLD YOU DOWN!!