k.c. - b.d.

I've been trying to learn this song on the piano. i love it.



even though I should be getting ready to GO!!
maybe i should find some money and start taking piano lessons again. hmm.

Passion 2010 and BCBG

I wish my cat could understand me when I tell her to "get a life".

huge excitement. passion 2010 is basically a day away. well, I report for duty on jan. 1 and 20k 18-25 yr olds arrive on jan. 2 from all over the US and the world.

Passion exists to see a generation stake their lives on what matters most. For us that is the fame of the One who rescues and restores, and our opportunity to amplify His name in everything we do.

Passion 2010 is a step on a journey that is all about finding true meaning as we take our places in a story that is so much bigger than ourselves.

Passion 2010 is a step on a journey that is all about finding true meaning as we take our places in a story that is so much bigger than ourselves. It is a rare chance for tens of thousands of university aged young people to gather from across the US and the world to celebrate their common faith and purpose.

I'm getting more and more excited. I found out this week that a guy from church is coming and Kathy in my small group are attending Passion! huge excitement that these two are coming!!

and in the last couple of weeks, some more friends signed up to volunteer which makes me totally happy cause I know they will be so blessed by being a part of this movement!

I'm missing out on an awesome NYE party at Brian's, but nothing feels better than taking days to STOP and recognize the One who is in control of all this craziness we call life. excited for hard work (supposedly mine and nat's team is the most hard-core) and radical change.

BCBG - you were wondering where this was coming in?? ASHLEY told me about this place by gaffney outlets with sweet shoes. well, she was absolutely correct. i left with 2 pairs of boots (yes, one pair is over the knee...i will make it through horrid winter) and a pair of heels all for $55. awesome deals!!!

anyways. proven once again as I browsed, BCBG has the best shoes (in the normal pricing range of course, chive!) most stylish, unique, HOT shoes.

My Travel Companion

My sweet travel companion at the beginning of our trip home today from Warner Robins.

Sometimes I get really bored driving so I'm fortunate to have my travel companion. she doesn't really like being in her lil soft box, so when I put the box on my lap she totally loves it better and it gives me something to do. Driving is so boring, but when you're trying to not let her escape out of the box (and she is a very strong 13 lbs.) and texting and gps'ing and of course trying to take pictures of her. it makes the trip go by really quick.

The trip from Warner Robins to ATL of 2 hrs isn't that bad, but when I have her on my lap driving with my knees for the 4 hrs b/t ATL and CLT, then it does make your knee kinda hurt.

I have said it before, but again, this is why I'm not as impressed with NASCAR drivers. I want to see them drive in ATL traffic with a small animal in their lap while they are texting. I just think that's more interesting and entertaining.

How cute is she (my cat)??

and this is when she was kinda trying to jump out. she is pretty strong

I'm staying at my aunt and uncle's house in Douglasville, GA tonight. they told me I could have their black lab. that I would be sure to get a man then if I took this dog with me. lol. they are probably right. need new job. so I can get dog.

The Single Girl's Guide to the Holidays

that previous past was a super lame 400th post.

please enjoy the below article that katie sent me The Single Girl's Guide to the Holidays. good stuff!! hope you enjoy like I did!!!!!

Numbers 1, 9, and 10 are my favorites. I hope I never have to say "I'm settling for you" over a candlelit dinner.

*****

If enduring your family's barrage of questions regarding your marital state is as much of a holiday tradition as mistletoe and Christmas cookies, you're in luck. This season, when someone asks you why you're not married, offer one of these clever comebacks.

If you're single, chances are you've been asked some variation of the following question:

"Why aren't you married?"

As you already know, you can provide many different answers to this question. Happily, some even place the blame somewhere other than on yourself and/or your thighs.

If you still need some responses in your arsenal this holiday season, I've provided some feisty comebacks to fling at anyone who dares to question your single status. You should feel good about your singlehood in order to better defend yourself against those who try to make you feel like less of a person, just because you're not half of a couple.

Trust me. It's worth it to hold out for a soul mate instead of a mere cell mate to share your life with.

1. There is plenty of time to be married, so what's the hurry? In the beginning, people only lived to see their 40s, if they were lucky. The pressure was on to get married before age 25. Today, thanks to medical advances, we can all hope to live to age 80. Even if we get married when we're 40, we still have 35, 45, even 55 years to spend with a mate.

2. Married people are not necessarily better catches simply because they were caught. Even Frankenstein's monster got married. Obviously, married people are not superior people.

3. There's no such thing as a Stepford single woman.

4. Some of our coolest role models were single. Catwoman? Single. Buddha? Single. The Lone Ranger? Single.

5. Even God is single. And God is the head of a single-parent household!

6. There are loads of wonderful expressions, all of which originate with the idea of "one" being the ideal. "One of a kind," "singled out," "saving the best for last" and "the best is yet to come" are some personal favorites.

7. It's easy to become married. Millions of people do it every year. If you want to pressure me to become something, why not pick something a little more challenging? Why not an astrophysicist?

8. Biological clocks now come with a helpful snooze alarm so I can hold out for the right partner.

9. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, single women are reported to be happier than their married counterparts. Ironic, then, that single women get branded as "unhappy" and "lonely." In reality, single women are boldly holding out for the right situation, rather than marrying someone for the sake of saying they are married.

10. True love is rare. That's why it's called "love" and not "really like" or "settling." And it's why we don't say, "I'm settling for you, honey," over candlelit dinners. True love is worth waiting for.

W.R. Starbucks Reprieve

Merry Christmas.

@ home in Warner Robins. no internet at my mom's house so I'm at Starbucks. breathing good starbucks air, and although they don't have a fireplace, I'm able to escape from the family and be.

I had a great Christmas. got lots of fun stuff including a guitar case (though it's fabric outside, hard inside - so brocco- I don't think the sticker will stick to it when you give it to me, so I might have to do a fabric swatch or something?) and jewelery and V.S. gift cards and you know, lots of good stuff.

@ Christmas Eve. not only was the cousin's bf and gf there, but the cousin's friend and family came over so it was like a houseful of Wal-Mart strangers. I totally shut down. we had to open our presents with nearly half the room I didn't know. it was like someone took awkward paint and covered me in it. i still tried to be nice, but my shyness overtook me.

I suppose this was the least-fighting Christmas yet, so that's nice. I guess because the older my brothers and I get, we learn how to hold our tongues better. and I try to channel the love of God. ha! it works mostly. though I spent the afternoon with my dad yesterday and dinner. this was 3 days in a row with him. he started being a j.a. again last night. I say again because we were having a nice christmas until he got mad after dinner and left because my mom wouldn't give him these old videos he wanted when he wanted. my parents are divorced, so i'm like - k, see ya! but last night he tried to bring these stupid videos up again. ha, it's kinda funny - i just start saying phrases that he doesn't understand. like the first time, I told him He got tricked. then last night when he brought it up again, i was like "seriously, are you seriously bringing this up again? you must be a jokester!!!" then he left the room. and I could feel like I was just getting ready to go. I told my mom if he brought it up again, i might have to drop an f-bomb. she of course did not like this. fortunately for everyone, he didn't bring it up again.

NINTENDO DS. i brought my ds with me. this might have saved the holidays.

my little brother cooked a ton of food for me last night. well for all of us, but he wanted to teach me how to grill meat. He made like hamburgers, roast, ribs, lots of goodness!

good thing about coming home once a year: everyone is glad to have you home.

bad thing about coming home once a year: i keep getting lost and not able to figure out where stuff is. oh, and everyone is glad to have you home.

my little brother now has these silver hole earrings. you know the kind where you can stretch your holes out. they aren't very big yet. i'm telling him not to do that. and i was like - you got any tattoos? yes, he has a skeletal joker face on his back . like a lil smaller than my open hand.

my older brother is still dealing with that crazy ex-gf situation. remember that? he thinks someone has gps on his vehicle. the other weekend he got a call from this stranger that has been calling and saying stuff about the ex. saying my brother needed to get in his car and drive by this girl's house - that the caller had a gun with a scope aimed at the ex-gf and that if he didn't drive, he would shoot her. so he did it. apparently, she had just set video up that got him driving by. so on monday an officer was at his work asking why he drove by her hosue. i know. i can't make this stuff up.

you might think. kristen, why do you air your family dirty laundry on your blog? i don't really look at it like this. i think every family has issues, right? if we all just agreed life isn't perfect, maybe we could all be more okay that everyone has problems, and problems we can't solve. only God I think. and every person gets the opportunity to make their own decisions in life.

i sometimes forget this, but have to constantly remind myself of this.

excited for Passion in just a few short days.

I am excited because when Christmas is over, in my world, it means summer is around the corner. maybe I should move somewhere that is sunny all the time.

365 days to give yourself away

I think someone and their friends should make a blog project titled 365 days to give yourself away.

you have to post one photo each day of someone in your group serving others (that's why you need a couple people so you can consistently post every day.) be it a random act of kindness or a large project. post a photo of serving strangers or friends or families. to inspire and encourage others to do and give to others, as well as give people great ideas on things you can do every day to help someone else out.

being purposeful in reaching out and helping others daily.

one day, when we're gone, all we'll have left on Earth is the lives that we've touched. how do you do something today and not put it off until next week, next month or next year?

Let the Packing Procrastination Begin

well. I'm leaving for GA tomorrow after work. when I come back here to pick my cat up at approx. 4pm. then driving to Douglasville. so I need to pack tonight.

I haven't not done anything. I have the dishes going in the dishwasher. and a load of jeans in the washing machine.

I was talking to (2) moms at church and they were stressing about all the stuff they had to do. and I was feeling better as a single person cause I didn't have as much and I could do it whenever I want. i was like gleaming as I heard them talk. I realize now, I still don't have as much to do, but they certainly were planning better. I lack that skill. they didn't have to stay up till 3 am the day before they traveled i'm sure.

listening to this song on repeat tonight.

I'm going to Wal-Mart at midnight tonight. I have a couple things I need to get. I thought midnight would be good because I'd have almost everything done here. (btw, if something happens to me, I'm taking my trash out to the dumpster too when I go so look for my body there too). no one will be at the store. so just get my stuff quick.

brb, let me at least throw another load in.

gosh. i hate packing.

and i'm trying to wrap presents.

and be ready to go tomorrow. for approx. 2 weeks.

one of the many great reasons to be single at the holidays. don't have to buy a gift for a significant other. yeahh. and you decide where you good, well please spend your holiday. maybe next year I'll go to bermuda or something.

me and katie were just talking about how I always and she sometimes gets upset on Christmas. I have spent many a-Christmas's crying about something about my family. we were laughing about one Christmas, think it was last one, when we both called each other crying on the phone. it's true. friends are the family you get to choose. i love katie sepulveda.

TRUST

Trust (n.)

1. Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing.

2. Custody; care.

3. Something committed into the care of another; charge.

4.

a. The condition and resulting obligation of having confidence placed in one: violated a public trust.

b. One in which confidence is placed.

5. Reliance on something in the future; hope.

6. Reliance on the intention and ability of a purchaser to pay in the future; credit.

7. Law

a. A legal title to property held by one party for the benefit of another.

b. The confidence reposed in a trustee when giving the trustee legal title to property to administer for another, together with the trustee's obligation regarding that property and the beneficiary.

c. The property so held.

8. A combination of firms or corporations for the purpose of reducing competition and controlling prices throughout a business or an industry.

v. trust·ed, trust·ing, trusts

v.intr.

1. To have or place reliance; depend: Trust in the Lord. Trust to destiny.

2. To be confident; hope.

3. To sell on credit.

v.tr.

1. To have or place confidence in; depend on.

2. To expect with assurance; assume: I trust that you will be on time.

3. To believe: I trust what you say.

4. To place in the care of another; entrust.

5. To grant discretion to confidently: Can I trust them with the boat?

6. To extend credit to.

Umm. wow. I have been thinking this week about the word "trust"
mostly because I have been re-considering the concept of trusting in God. to trust in God. like what does that really mean?

I think in theory I would say that I do. I mean, anybody who calls themself a follower of Christ, well, you trust in God, right? whatever that means.

I don't know what made me think of it, I guess Chris's talk on Sunday talking about how in our life situations, we never know what the ending is - so we have to trust that God knows best and looks out for us. Then too as I'm looking at my own life and not loving going to work every day and wondering about my path and what's next etc. I pray for the right path and for God to make things work, right? i mean that's what people do - they pray to God for things to work and for what they want.

But what would it really mean to Trust God? the dictionary doesn't lie, so I thought I would ask it. this is what I got...

to have firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of God

custody and care. (woah, really, this has to do with trust? interesting)

something committed into the care of another

WOW - and this one. the condition and resulting obligation of having confidence place in one.

One is which confidence is placed. (to place my confidence in God. interesting.)

Reliance on something in the future - hope. (ummm. again . wow. by the very definition of the word "trust" it means all this?)

A legal title held by one party for the benefit of another. , the property so held. (hmmm...I don't know about this one.)

to have or place reliance, depend. (this is the one the dictionary uses as the reference to trusting in the Lord. but I think some of these other definitions fit just as good if not better)

to be confident, hope. (wow, trust is about a lot of confidence. and hope - that would be a good word for another day to dive into.)

to sell on credit (I feel like there is a link here, but my mind can't process it - any ideas?

to expect with assurance, assume (gosh, these words for the trust make me realize how sucky I am at trusting, to expect with assurance or assume does not include worrying, fantasizing, doubting, going before to figure it out yourself)

to believe (too vague! again, it's own deep dive word)

to place in the care of another, entrust (i'm pretty good at doing things myself. to give my emotions, feelings, cares, concerns - placing them to another is kinda a big deal. but agreed, there is One who can hold them all)

to grant discretion to confidently (again, the word confident, and you're granting discretion because I assume this is deserved because you are confident in the person)

and lastly to extend credit to. (I think if there is one person that deserves our credit, or our confidence, it's the very person that was sent to Earth . to pay the ultimate price for us. the one that died so that we could live forever. i think that deserves extended credit.)

If I'm being completely honest, I think it will take me a long time to figure this out. to trust God fully. like it tells us to do soooooo many times in the bible. (trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight...being just 1 of many - if that's even how it goes :-) )

maybe I should print out these definitions and put them up in my cube. so the next time my mind or heart is weighing heavy with something I can try to trust God and to figure it out I could read these definitions.

last - I'm tired of making my own plans and we all pray for good things to happen or the things that we want to happen in life. and that's fine and all. but I want to start trusting God with my plans. placing them in his court and having confidence that he will take care of me and my plans.

Revolving Door Holiday

1.) being at work today blows. being at work this week also blows.


I haven't ranted lately. Well, maybe for like a day.

I'm going home to Warner Robins on Christmas Eve for Christmas with the family. If you recall, last year, I got all bent out of shape because my brother invited his girlfriend who I just met on Christmas Eve to come open presents on Christmas morning with us. which to me is totally weird because it's like having a stranger from Wal-Mart come to your house cause I don't know the chick. and clearly now, they have broken up and been to court once, so that's dunzo.

Over the years there have been many brother's girlfriends spending Christmas with my family. (I haven't been home for Thanksgiving in a while) I think it's just silly. I wouldn't invite someone to spend Christmas with my family unless we were SUPER serious. like real real serious. to me, it's just Christmas is a family time.

[DISCLAIMER: I am aware of how completely ridiculous this may sound, especially being a Christian. Right, I should totaly be welcoming and accepting, it just bothers me. I understand that I may be being completely selfish and not showing love]

Aside from that, my cousin has had her different boyfriends, depending on who it is at the holiday over too.

I think Thanksgiving is an "invite everyone you want holiday" but Christmas. I guess too, with it being a significant other, and I have seen them fall out, it's like it's a Christmas Revolving Door.

This Christmas my two cousins both have a bf and gf. so I'm sure on Christmas eve, they will be over. roll eyes.

it's like, don't these people have families homes to go to? fact: i have never brought any boy home for Christmas, clearly b/c there hasn't been one I liked that much, but be sure i'm not just inviting any boy to come have Christmas with.

then, it makes me think. are people really that insecure? I think some people are. really that insecure that they can't even sit at their family's table without having someone beside them to validate their existence?? WOAH.

Fortunately for all of them, I'm planning in advance to be nice. It's important to have goals in life.

Beautiful Sunday

I really don't want to go to work tomorrow. or the two days after that. I'm kinda depressed about that.

Awesome service today. Chris talked about when Mary told the guy she was engaged to, joseph, that she was pregnant and it wasn't his kid. how he first like had emotions and though, well I will later quietly divorce her. this is how he felt, he had emotion before the angel appeared to him to tell him what was up.

Chris made an interesting point how sometimes it's hard to relate to the bible because we know how everything ends. but in real life, that's one thing that makes things difficult - we don't know how every turn and situation we are in will end.

I take hope today in knowing, in every situation that I am in, God knows the end. and He wants to make it for his glory - even if it hurts along the way, even if I can't understand. God doesn't always clear chaos, but HE does show up and and meet us in the middle of it.

very cool message. great reminder.

umm, well, since this blog is about my "life and times", i won't not tell you that I had lunch with s.t. guy today. remember. the one that I wrote the RIP message about a couple months ago. the post which still makes ME laugh more than any other post. anyway - dude is cool. it was fun, good convo. you know that I can usually count a million reasons why some guy wouldn't work out before even speaking to him, and certainly after a convo, and I am not counting any yet. so I guess that is good right?

i'm just a negative nelly. i don't know why. prob because it never works out and I have lower self esteem than my confident facade holds...but in all my downfalls and weaknesses and things that never work out- God is totally looking out for me, I know that. I just wish I could totally like somebody and it work out to @ least a couple dates! i think i'm worth a couple dates. but then in my head, I really just want God's will so if it's not this dude, I pray God calls all the shenanigans off. I'll sleep tonight knowing my God is in control and He knows how each story in my life ends.

THEN sweet 3-yr old Eden came and hung out with me while her mom shopped. so fun!! she is a cutie! me and twix entertained her for several hours. hide and seek, the playground, hot chocolate, clothes on my cat, singing wreath...don't think it could have gone any better.

work? ugh. breathe in. breathe out.
do you think it would be AWKWARD if I just uploaded the "be on you" video to his fb wall?? just put it all out there?!!! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA the thought of this makes me laugh.

Pinhole Glasses, Replay, Be on You

* I wonder how many times today I have said to my cat "Lucy, I'm gonna punch you in the face."

she tries to eat her food too fast than gets sick. that food is too expensive, as is new carpet.

I went to the eye dr. today. i'm getting some super huge geek prescription glasses. fact.

the eye dr. was telling me though. well, I made a comment on how cool it is that, even though I can't see far away, when I squint, you know you can see clear. he said it had to do with the amount of light and reflecting off the object.

then he told me if I ever don't have my contacts or glasses, which has happened before. you can put tiny holes into a piece of paper and it will allow you to see clearly. !!! can you believe that? I was kinda in awe. then he tells me there are glasses calling pinhole glasses that do just that. they aren't prescription lenses, they just have pinholes and then you can see through them.

see.

eyes are cool.

this song is on "Replay" in my head. ... shawty's like a melody in my head...like my ipod stuck on replay

simple song, right?

how about this one? I laugh when I think about this song? what is ne-yo trying to say in this song. he says it very clearly and politely. I WANT TO BE ON YOU. no games. no questions. i'm pretty sure this would go over better than any pickup line I've ever been given. "excuse me little mama, if i may, take this thought and send it your way and if you don't like that, send it right back, but I just gotta say, I wanna be on you, I wanna be on you"

I do love some ne-yo.

Precipitation is Fun and Games

The snow storm in the Carolinas is all fun and games until it screws with your social plans.

Snow is great when it's during the work week and means you get off work.

But I'm suppose to be hanging out in Cornelius tonight. grrr...

judgement call: drive to Cornelius at 6 or so?? and then back at like 11 or 12 tonight?? or just stay home.

hmm...

there is already all snow/ice covered at my house.

maybe they will just come get me. Brian's big truck can handle storm. (see post from February when he rescued me)

I just don't want to stay over there. I want to be home on Sat. am. snow, today, right now. sucks.

Friday, I love you.

Friday, how i Love thee. okay, a quick blog before a long day at work.

me @ work yesterday. I think we spend so much time at work and none of your friends has any idea what this looks like. here you can see me at work.

Sometimes, after I cook my eggs and toast in the morning, I play my piano. My piano hasn't been getting as much love since I got my guitar, but yesterday morning and this morning I love playing. I set my coffee on it, and go at it. sorry neighbors.

the wonderful lineup for this weekend. since I did my Christmas shopping mostly online this week, I think I'm going to spend the weekend at home!!

8am - wakeup
coffee
breakfast
read, light candle
10am - sat. am shows (that's so raven, hannah and zac and cody - judge me!!)
intertwined by piano playing on the commercials, dishes and putting clothes away
12pm - hmm. run? nahh
start baking
1pm -any good sat afternoon matinee on my non-cable tv?
more coffee, blow out candle after 5 hrs., light a different one.
bake cookies
nap
clean
piano
get dressed? nah. overrated
talk to katie
hopefully not much computer time.
make toffee
piano more
guitar
redbox?
9pm bed.

hmmmmmmm. heaven. i am so blessed.

also, i think it's funny that I have made pigs in blanket for a party wed. and the corn flake holly krispie treats and people were blown away that I cooked. PEOPLE, get to know me, I can cook and bake. I mean, I'm no Emeril, but i'm not awful. I do read Betty Crocker cookbook many mornings while I'm eating breakfast. I just flip through it and enjoy it! it is GOOD STUFF.

k, here are a couple other photos from my time in the Red Rocks. now that you see them it's like I wasn't there by myself. well, it was pretty good though. what would it be like if I actually had someone else that enjoyed doing this stuff with me? maybe one day in life :-) till then I will bask in my beautiful aloneness.

Chantilly Lace

Growing up I just listened to oldies. not sure why. my dad listed to alternative rock music I didn't like and I don't know what my mom listened to.

I don't remember a lot from my early childhood, but I remember very much liking this song. and singing all the words to it.
had never seen a video of it until now.



Also, I distinctly remember calling the oldies radio station to request this song. and I got on the radio and it was so great!



GMR holiday party was tonight. um. it was alright. I kinda wanted to leave as soon as I got there. it was beautiful. Merr and Debbie and TD worked really hard on it. there was a disco ball and light so it felt like a high school dance and a photo opp. then this comedian came on and it got REAL awkward. real real awkward. and then I left :-) I am appreciative that my company tried to do something. if I was a different person I'm sure I would have had a blast. so glad I was home by 7. and about to go to bed a little after 9. yay! weekend, I can feel you around the corner.

All That Matters

I think I might have to buy their cd. I like them. and I don't buy cd's.

I may never be the one that gets a second glance
I may never be the one that looks the prettiest
But that's alright with me



And maybe I don't follow every crazy passion
Spend all my time trying to get a good reaction
But thats ok with me

This world is like a trampoline
High and low no in between
Jumping at the chance to please
Everyone but thats not me

Cause all that matters is
All that matters is
I know your love has set me free
And thats all that matters to me

Some people tell me to step out and do my own thing
And others say I got to blend in just to be the same
And stop being me

But this shallow world is no longer what I'm made of
I've been changed by grace
I've been saved by love
What more do I need

******************
it's a beautiful day!

I got Hacked!

no, i'm not talking about my bank account. or a computer virus.

I got hacked by hackl.

G. Hackl is this lady that we have to send all our expense reports to. she approves them and gives us a check. but it's like her job to short us money. to rob us of money.

okay, I understand that there are laws that because we are a publicly traded company blah, blah, blah we have to uphold.

but let me explain.

last report of mine for several hundred dollars.

well if your flight is at 7am you can't expense breakfast at the airport only a drink. our flight was at noon. this means we have to leave the office BY 10 am. so we get lunch at the airport. nope, she would only pay for my drink and the $8 lunch she didn't pay me back for. is this fair? I don't think so. I mean would they even let me take a sack lunch through security?

then I paid $20 to check my luggage. I overlooked the receipt so she just didn't pay me back the $20. even though there was a receipt for checked luggage on the way back. I had it on the list but no receipt so sorry kristen, i'm taking $20 from you.

this is just two circumstances but it makes me so mad for the following reasons:

#1 Why should I get shorted MY money? trust me, we don't get paid that much already, but when your own company is trying to short you money, it's disgusting.

#2 I'm not taking these trips for my pleasure, or health, or well-being. I am taking them so that my company can get paid, far more than I do for performing a service. so why should I get nickeled and dimed here or there on stuff when I'm travelling for you and for the client???? I'm not doing this for me!!

#3 Does she not want me to be able to buy Christmas presents for my family? I mean that's just not right.

#4 ever heard of Corporate Cards??? they say we will never get them. IMG had them and it was lovely. of course, you still had to provide backup, but no one was trying to steal money from you. Sure - if you can't account for $100 or you spent $200 in drinks - that's fine, I wouldn't expect to be reimbursed

#5 I am perfectly honest with EVERYTHING expense report related. but The Hack makes me want to throw in lost receipts here or there. I know other people do it, but I know it's not right. but when your company is trying to take what lil I have, it's like WHAT GIVES! then it makes you say. that's fine. i'll get that pizza money back!

Baby, It's cold Outside and Wiki Awkward

check it! I mean you know I love them, but they do a fantastic job on this song. it starts about 1 min in.
my guitar skills are becoming pretty close to this song. (NOT)



Wiki Akward.

Thank you Senora Ruf for making me LOL. in reminding me that wikihow has answers for everything in life!

How to Avoid Making a Guy Feel Awkward

for kicks, let's review the list

#1 Be More Assertive.
You may have to be the leader for a little while, because most guys don't want to get themselves together just for you. So don't act uncomfortable or awkward--you'd better be pretty easygoing and comfortable if you're going to make this work. k, how are you suppose to be more assertive when you just sound like a tool?? okay, point taken though. easygoing and comfortable. sort of like sweatpants and the beach. got it.

#2 Have a normal conversation with him about topics that don't involve personal questions and girlfriend issues. Humor and physical contact also help people get more comfortable around each other. I can handle this, b/c typically I sincerely do not care about people's previous relationships. sure - i saw that other bitty, but whatev. k, so point for me b/c I didn't do this.

#3 Avoid clinging. If he doesn't like you, for your sake and his, drop it. It will make you seem desperate, and will only make the guy feel more awkward. So if you ask him why he doesn't talk to you and he brings up a lame excuse then that's a clue that he doesn't really like you. HA!! note to self, never ask a guy why he doesn't talk to me? WHO DOES THIS??? I mean I guess girls do, but I learned too much from He's Just Not That Into You to do a thing like that. if he is not talking to you it's because he doesn't want to. I mean HELLO, Senora Ruf 's hubby made her talk to him cause he was in looooooove. we'll have to re-visit the first line. perhaps another opportunity wiki - how to tell if he likes you.

#4 Move on if it doesn't work out. There are upwards of 3 billion guys out there, so the odds are in your favor. AHHHH. hope. there are upwards of 3 billion guys out there. word. wish somebody would do the math though on how many of those are lame jerks so I really know what the pool looks like.

#5 Avoid discussing topics such as menstruation, sex etc. I would NEVER!!!!!! it is mortifying to me when girls bring up stuff like this in mixed company. I also find it really awkward when I'm in a group of girls and there is one guy and the girls are just talking about girl stuff like tv shows or shopping. I don't know why but this makes me feel so weird. I had this conversation with my friends, apparently they don't feel like it's awkward, just me. I think it's cause I'm trying to be considerate and think I would be annoyed or feel uncomfortable if I was with a group of guys and they talked sports I didn't know and stuff. OH WAIT, this is probably because this happens to me routinely at work and travelling and it's super annoying.

#6 Don't give him too much attention - Don't expect him to lead the conversation, because he'll get bored. If it gets quiet, just talk about anything. Thanks Wiki. but you don't really explain what to do when your mind just flips upside down. when you literally feel like you can't form words into sentences. I need this addressed.

The best part of Wiki is how it gives you crazy related links. How to Be a Good Boyfriend, Be a Memorable First Date, Be a Good Prom Date, Fill Awkward Silences (maybe I'm going to this one next)

I also think it is funny how people are all about how difficult it is for guys to ask girls out, etc. I'm not doubting that, I mean all those formals and semi-formals I had to ask guys to attend. I mean that's a whole other post with the hyperventilation and all. but i'm just saying, it's not easy for shy girls like me!!!!

my friends said. Kristen, what if he finds this blog? He or anyone else that I have talked smack about on here. and I simply say, I don't write anything that I wouldn't be okay with the world or that person seeing. I just don't see why I should care?

I know, I am an odd bird.

Passion 2010 volunteers

Passion still needs volunteers for Passion 2010 if you wanna come...January 1,2-5

http://www.268generation.com/passion2010/index.php?id=12

I'm going and my friend too. we just got a hotel this week staying with another girl - I'm not sure who, but I'm sure she is cool and that should be fun.

the leader said, since we didn't have a hotel, and they are all sold out. we have been busy!! she said, "wow you girls must like to live on the edge" very thankful we found a room and another roommate to help with costs.

It's going to be fantastic. serving college students. check out the site if you don't know.

excited to see many of my friends in ATL too!! all-around pumped about Passion!!!!

Awkward-ville

Hello! My name is Kristen and I am the Mayor of Awkward-ville.

awk⋅ward
adjective 1. lacking skill or dexterity; clumsy.
2. lacking grace or ease in movement: an awkward gesture; an awkward dancer.
3. lacking social graces or manners: a simple, awkward frontiersman.
4. not well planned or designed for easy or effective use: an awkward instrument; an awkward method.
5. requiring caution; somewhat hazardous; dangerous: an awkward turn in the road.
6. hard to deal with; difficult; requiring skill, tact, or the like: an awkward situation; an awkward customer.
7. embarrassing or inconvenient; caused by lack of social grace: an awkward moment

I think that's all I want to say about that.

Do you think there is somewhere I can take lessons on not being so awkward in front of cute boys? like training or something? is there an Emily Post book about this?

please do tell. maybe some breathing exercises that I can learn?

i do think i'm sort of hopeless. BUT and I swear that I really have to tell myself this, as silly as it sounds. All things are possible with God. thank goodness for this.

I mean, I still don't know how he feels about cats, driving fast, or clothing optional beaches, but he seems very nice.

lights, camera, ACTION

busy, busy week! lots of fun stuff. it's kinda like I have to make up for not being in town for two weeks. so Ashley spent the night Monday, Tuesday was Nat's Birthday, Wed. was small group, Thurs was Christmas Party, Friday...ahhhhhh. asleep on the sofa by about 7pm.

BUT TODAY. TODAY, my friends. was action on some stuff I've been wanting to take action on .

I couple weeks/months ago I wrote about wanting to volunteer, to serve others, show Jesus to others through loving and serving others.

I think the world is changed for the better by little things.
Show God's love to others, unselfishly, and you know, for nothing in return.

anywho.

this morning I worked in a soup kitchen at a local shelter. serving approx. 120 homeless people sandwiches, soup, fruit and delicious desserts. I cut up the vegetables for the soup. It is humbling to see the people. You wonder how they get there. and if they are choosing to still be there. I took great joy in speaking to them like I was a Wal-Mart Greeter. acknowledging them and smiling and asking how they were. they all sat at tables. some threw food away. and some took the sandwiches off the trash plates to take several to go. v. interesting experience. I just thought to myself though. It's awesome that this church group (not mine) that I was working with comes in here and does this. I did think it would be interesting if people were actually sitting at tables with these folks. talking relationally to them. my mind was def going on needs and opportunities.

THEN, happened to be the same day, me and twix went to the salvation army and sorted Christmas presents for 13,000 children!!! Can you believe that?! it was pretty fun. AND they had the best christmas music - Mariah- going! it was fun seeing all the toys and 1800+ bikes lined up. AWESOME!! it's cool to see the city's generousity.

tomorrow, I am most excited about. my small group and another girls small group are teaming together to mentor one of the girl's in Janelle's 7th grade class. she comes from a low-income home and doesn't have many friends. she is 12 yrs old. so tomorrow we are taking her, Sarah, and 3 of her friends to have Christmas snacks and make crafts. the goal is to do some sort of thing once a month. just to form relationship and show God's love! that simple. The guy's groups are also partnering with one of her 7th grade boys. i'm excited for this.

Life is too short to be just all about me. Cause when I leave, all the stuff won't matter.

I'm grateful to have some friends that are really getting on board with all of this!! I am grateful for my friends, here and away, that are so encouraging. it's hard sometimes to do things out of the norm, but these are the things that matter. excited for actions being done for His renown.

New Computer

Guess who got a new computer at work???



That's right. w/camera. suckerrrrrrs

Acid

Thank you cousin.

you dont need first hand experience to know how it works

i dont have to drop acid to know that its stupid...you know?

Heartbroken

I'm kinda heartbroken.

I just had a blow up phone fight with one of my once very close friends. We hadn't talked in like 3 months. I've been very busy, but if I'm being completely honest (which I tend to be on this blog) I knew that this is what was going to happen. She was dating a guy that didn't share her beliefs, but just for good fun. I didn't judge. but over the gap of time, she was talking to another friend, and I had a feeling they were bonding over the similar situation that could validate each other. although I'm sure they would tell you they weren't validating each other because they are doing absolutely nothing wrong.

which is fair.

so I try to make the point that - you know that's fine and all, but be aware that who you spend your time with and surround yourself by - those are the people you will become. I speak from experience. . well, that did not go over well. I said, just cause you say you don't want to get married for a long time, I wouldn't use that as an excuse to just date anybody because you become emotionally and physically attached to people. there is no denying that. well, that didn't go over well either.

I was told I'm critical. and expect everyone to be perfect. that I think I'm perfect. and that I can't expect everyone to have the same opinion and be at the same place as me.

I said and I feel - I do not want to be the friend anymore that is going to tell friends just what they want to hear. this isn't loving someone. unfortunately, this perspective has torn apart a couple relationships recently. it truly breaks my heart. I want friends for myself now that are going to hold me to a higher standard. that aren't just going to say YES, that's fine to do whatever you want. anyone can tell you that.

it breaks my heart when I think of how close I used to be with these girls. how we used to be on the same page on things, but sometimes time changes things. I've changed, but I like to think for the better. I like who I am today better than who I was a year ago. and I wasn't even a bad person a year ago.

Fortunately, I will go to sleep tonight thinking of my last post. I have everything I need in Christ. I will ask God to search my heart and give me compassion. though, I really can't see how people can be close, close friends when large gaps exist, no, grow, in areas that weren't there before. I really don't know how to show love through this. b/c I can't agree. I won't agree. I know some things are not right, so if that is what you want me to do, I won't. if that means our friendship, then that's okay.

* besides, I'm not perfect. I dropped the f-bomb at least three times when she brought out the "well, you're not dating anybody so you don't know anything" and "I'm sorry, kristen, we can't all be like you and just never date anyone" bullshit (yes, she really said this). that junk pisses me off. Congratu-freakin-lations! you have a boyfriend, but that doesn't make you any better or smarter in life than me - neither does it that i don't. gahhhh.

I only need Jesus?

okay. for those that have not bought into the whole christianity thing - you prob don't want to read.

I was thinking at lunch today.

I have everything I need in Jesus.

what in the world does that really mean? like tactically, specifically, in this world - what does that mean?

k, first you have to think of everything we think we need in this world:
designer shoes, food, friends, a significant other, drinks (good wine), bedazzled sweaters, pretty jewelery, great hair, thin legs, to be able to run 2 miles or 13.

we need smarts, personality, houses, cars, new glasses, movies, tv, sweatpants, sneakers, peace, boldness, courage, laughter.

we need a raise, a better job, more money...more and nicer of everything.

k for the families out there - let me take a stab. we need kids with good grades, safe kids, or maybe just need kids, less stress, a maid, a cook, good sex, great vacations, neighbors, decent school, job.

What I think I need is a mix of the above.

anyways. so then what does it mean to have everything that you need in Jesus.
hmmm. I was asking God to continue helping me to grow in Him, to give to others, to give of my time and money completely above my means. I need nothing of this world. Everything I need is in Jesus alone. All that HE is, is indeed all that I need.

I'm super thankful that I could remember this today. Hopefully I will be reminded of this when my heart wants. when my heart wants of stuff, but more when my heart wants of emotions and feelings.

Jesus continually gives His goodness and love. It is the essence of who He is to love and give peace, comfort, hope, salvation, joy, pleasure, goodness, strength, wisdom.

This is why we will never find it in anything else. People will never find what they need in the world because the very point of Jesus coming was to save us.

I think of some of my friends that have not found everything they need in Jesus. lots of christians I think don't know that everything they need is in Jesus. and I've had some awesome examples of people that have made this their life. I am so appreciative for those people. to set that example. that Jesus has everything I need.

so next time, I'm sad because someone has made me mad, or a friendship is over, or I don't have a man and prob won't wed until i'm 83 and far more unattractive, or when I'm pissed at work...the list goes on. but maybe I will read this and be reminded. I have everything I need in Jesus.

damn. I'm lucky.

Sharing Presentation - Christmas Competitive Analysis

I almost called in sick today because I had to participate in the "sharing excercise" in our team meeting today.

1st - haven't I gotten up enough in front of people to do stuff not work related?
I sang at the first staff meeting.
then I had to do entertainment at another meeting, the one where I brought my cat.

now AGAIN???!!!

a work-related presentation is one thing, but to share something about myself. i don't wanna. - it's none of their biznazz.

(this is the same presentation that the one guy brought in his dead dog ashes, Merr brought in a photo display, Ash brought and talked about her Clemson rag, and Tiff brought in her engagement album)

I talked about how much I love Christmas! then I discussed the competitive analysis with why Christmas is better than all other holidays. because Christmas has the best of all the holidays.

Birthdays - well hello, the birth of Christ is at Christmas
Valentine's Day - greatest gift of Love was when God sent a savior. and there is the mistletoe and kissing tie.
St. Patrick's day - already had red from Easter, so take green from St. Patty's day
4th of July - great music on both holidays (God Bless America) and both are about sparkling lights. fireworks and Christmas lights
Halloween - wait for it. Santa dresses in costume every year. HELLO!
Thanksgiving - we eat lots of food thanksgiving and Christmas. and then of course it's about the season of giving.

I ended my talk with what's important to me.

Thanksgiving and Christmas are a great time to recognize what we are Thankful for - our homes, our jobs, our families, the fact that we will eat lunch and dinner and that we have clothes.

so take a minute to do something for someone else this holiday season. we have so much to give.

You're a Fool to Believe you can Change the World

Phenomenal song...



do something today to change the world.

So can we use the free space?

omgosh this makes me laugh so hard every time I watch it. us @ bingo.


everytime we would start a new game. the guy would say what page we were on and natalie would hold the card up and wave it as if saying "alright, go ahead, I'm ready"

then she would use her finger to follow each line down. then STAMP.

apparently she also shh'ed rachel and asked about free spaces. HA!

Merry Christmas Monday

I peaced out of Las Vegas Sat. It was a great trip. The work part was alright. The part of celebrating Natalie's 30th birthday was awesome!

The red rocks were awesome. I didn't know where to go so I asked this guy and he was like just follow this trail around. so I didn't know exactly how far it was or where I was going, but the nice thing is since it's open, I still knew where the direction of my car was. it was very cool. I took my book out to read it, but used it more as a tripod then actually reading it.

I climbed this. book in one hand.

we gambled, but not much. we played bingo. we danced (well, mostly me. shocker, right?) we laughed A LOT. we ate. we walked. we drank a lil (proud to say the least I have ever drank in Vegas!) did I mention we laughed??

last night, I could hardly go to sleep at 1 am after uploading all my photos from Austin and Vegas. mostly because I just can't get over how blessed I am to have such magnificent friendships.

There's a lot in life I don't have.
But I am humbled when I think of the relationships that God has given me and all that I do have.

love this Christmas song. don't judge me.


HAPPY MONDAY!

Good Morning, Las Vegas

the sun rising over the mountains from my hotel bed. how cool that the curtains open and close on a button by the bed?

I'm free till approx. 2 pm today so I think I'm going to drive out to Red Rock Canyon this morning. woke up at 6 am due to the time change and thought I should get out there. (btw - fell asleep BEFORE the fashion show came on!!! dahh...guess i need to learn about hulu today.) just read some reviews online and better get out there. times a wasting! I wonder if it's cold.

ooh I can take my book too!!

i miss this face. from monday, she wants to sit in my lap and doesn't care if she has to sit on top of my typing hands.

Las Vegas, You Suck!

I have been here a total of 7 hours and I am already over this place!!

I'm just gonna vent and then I'm gonna make a post about how excited I am about what I'm doing here and the fun I'm going to have.

Why Las Vegas Sucks

1.) Put your hiking shoes on! just to get down to the lobby or the front to pick up your car is like .5 mile from your room. But wait, you can't put hiking shoes on because you have to look good here all the time. I mean I've been wearing my flats today and I stand out.

2.) Waiting Game. I swear you have to wait for everything. wait for valet. wait for registration. wait for the bell desk to do a room drop. wait for concierge.

3.) Fresh Air. There is no fresh air. You walk .5 mile inside this place and you still aren't outside cause everything is so freaking separated.

4.) Expensive. you have to tip for everything. and everything is expensive. I got 6 boxes shipped to the hotel. it will easily cost $100 just cause for them to accept the delivery. I mean I know it's not my money - but it just becomes ridiculous.

5.) $600 on my debit. I closed out my credit card so I'm only spending real money. my room and tax is paid for on corporate card at the Wynn - at $275 plus tax a night. so i give them my card for incidentals. They want to hold $150/nt on my debit card which is a total of $600. so they tell me they can hold just $300 but i can't put stuff to my room like room service or whatever, i'll have to pay with card. that's fine. BUT i couldn't get on the internet. had to call and get them to allow me to do that. tried to call a 800 number - couldn't do that. it's treating like they don't have a card under my name. it's just obnoxious!! fortunately my work cash card should have flipped the money into my account by tomorrow. i will call them and say "hold the stinkin $600"!

6.) No Work out! there's no where to work out. it costs $75 for a 3-day pass to the gym, which my work doesn't cover. so I ask them for jogging maps. they just get the strip map out and draw lines where they think i could run. i mean in such a place with a lack of options outside, don't you think you should be able to access the fitness area over a 5-day stay for free? (I know, rich people problems!)

okay - done talking about why las vegas sucks. I think maybe I should stay in for the night and be recluse. order in, watch my v.s. fashion show on tv.

I got my new bible in the mail that I'm reading to do a review on (Thank you Thomas Nelson Publishers) it's pretty good so far called Greatest Stories of the Bible. it's the bible but in short stories.